Paddywhack says you want to touch Superman's strangely shaped head and feel Superman's masculine boobs of steel.

Paddywhack feels inclined to mention the jocularity with which this was conceived. Paddywhack means to cause no offense, but enjoys speaking in the third person and long walks on deserted beaches.

Paddywhack blames these people.

Authors' Note: We hope to have stories posted for each item by the end of the week. Circumstances being what they were, we paired up at the last minute, and so this is currently reflective of what we did with three days to work on it. Rest assured: every item will be covered. Enjoy.